We Don’t Get What We Deserve — We Get What We Tolerate

Culture isn’t what you say it is. Culture is simply what you allow it to be.

Too often, organizations believe their culture is defined by mission statements, employee handbooks, or the aspirational values plastered on office walls. But in reality, culture is shaped every single day by what leaders tolerate, reward, and overlook.

If we tolerate mediocrity, it becomes the standard.

If we tolerate toxic behavior, it spreads.

If we tolerate a lack of accountability, trust erodes.

Culture isn’t built by accident. It’s built by choice. And the best organizations don’t settle for what’s comfortable. They actively set and uphold expectations that drive excellence, collaboration, and integrity.

The Consequence of Tolerance

Consider these common workplace realities:

A high performer who gets away with toxic behavior because they “bring in results.”

Leaders who preach innovation but punish risk-taking when things don’t go as planned.

A nonprofit that says accountability matters but keeps ineffective employees because “it’s the nice thing to do.”

These examples are culture killers. Every time we ignore bad behavior or make excuses for underperformance, we send a message: “This is okay here.” And over time, that message shapes everything.

The Difference Between YOM and OPM

One of the biggest factors in whether leaders uphold high standards is who’s making the decisions, and what’s at stake for them.

There’s a stark contrast between:

Owner-operators: People who run their own businesses and are personally invested in success or failure (Your Own Money — YOM).

Hired managers: People who work in larger organizations where losses and inefficiencies are absorbed by the company, not them personally (Other People’s Money — OPM).

Owner-operators tend to model the right behaviors because they can’t afford to tolerate mediocrity, inefficiency, or toxic behavior — it directly affects their bottom line. They make hiring and firing decisions with a clear-eyed focus on long-term success, not short-term comfort.

But when leaders operate with OPM, the urgency shifts. The stakes feel lower, which makes it easier to let underperformance slide, avoid tough conversations, and tolerate behaviors that ultimately hurt the organization.

This is why organizations with a culture of ownership — where leaders at all levels act like owners, not just caretakers — tend to outperform those where decision-makers feel insulated from the impact of their choices.

No matter where I’m working, the toughest question I always ask myself is:

Am I leading like an owner, or just managing someone else’s problem?

How Strong Organizations Get It Right

The best organizations don’t leave culture to chance. They create it, protect it, and reinforce it daily. Here’s how:

1. Define Non-negotiables — Be explicit about what behaviors align (or don’t align) with your values. Don’t just list “integrity” or “excellence” in a handbook. Define what those look like in action with real-life examples.

2. Model the Standard — Leadership is far more about what you do than what you say. If leaders aren’t holding themselves to the highest standard, why should anyone else?

3. Address Issues Head-On — Don’t let problems fester. Small cultural cracks become structural failures if ignored. Tough conversations now prevent massive problems later.

4. Recognize and Reward Excellence—People will rise to the level of expectations that are celebrated and rewarded. Reinforce the behaviors you want to see.

5. Embrace Difficult Decisions—Sometimes, the best thing for an organization is letting go of people who don’t uphold its values, no matter how talented or well-liked they are.

What Are You Tolerating?

Culture is an ongoing commitment. And that commitment starts with a simple but uncomfortable question:

What are we tolerating that we shouldn’t be?

If you’re seeing a pattern of low accountability, toxic behavior, or stagnation in your team, it’s time to take action.

Are we making excuses for underperformance instead of addressing it?

Are we allowing cultural misfits to stay because we fear confrontation?

Are we rewarding the wrong behaviors, favoring short-term wins over long-term sustainability?

Culture is a reflection of leadership. If we want strong, thriving organizations, we need to stop tolerating what holds us back and start demanding the best from ourselves and those around us.